Why You Shouldn't Ignore Pain During Intercourse

Your sexual health is part of your overall health, so when something's not functioning quite right, it can have a big impact on you as a person.

Experiencing pain during intercourse 一 officially called dyspareunia 一 is a common issue that can have significant physical, emotional, and relational consequences. While it may be tempting to ignore or dismiss this discomfort, digging in to find the root cause of your pain can help you avoid the physical and emotional aspects of dyspareunia.

If you’re struggling with pain, our board-certified urologists encourage you to visit us at Bellingham Urology Group in Bellingham and Mount Vernon, Washington.

In the meantime, here’s a closer look at why you shouldn’t ignore pain during intercourse. 

Ignoring pain can delay necessary treatments 

Pain during intercourse can be a sign of an underlying condition, and if you ignore the pain, that only prolongs getting the treatment (and the relief) you need. Infections, including sexually transmitted diseases and urinary tract infection (UTI) can contribute to pain during intercourse for both men and women. Pelvic floor dysfunction can also affect both men and women. 

There are also sex-specific conditions that can cause pain. For men, the following conditions can contribute to pain during intercourse:

• Erectile dysfunction
• Peyronie disease
• Prostatitis
• Balanitis
• Phimosis
• Prostate cancer
• Urethral stricture

For women, the following conditions can contribute to pain during intercourse: 

• Vaginal dryness
• Vaginal infections (such as yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis)
• Vulvodynia 
• Endometriosis
• Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
• Interstitial cystitis (painful bladder syndrome)
• Abnormal growths, including uterine fibroids and ovarian cysts

All of these conditions require different treatments, so it’s important to speak up if you experience any pain during intercourse. 

Ignoring pain can lead to increased emotional turmoil 

Emotional stress, anxiety, past trauma, relationship issues, or negative attitudes toward sex can contribute to pain during intercourse. These issues can lead to reduced arousal fluid, which can cause chafing and discomfort.

Pain itself can trigger anxiety and depression, so by not reaching out for help, your chronic pain can affect your mood.

Bottom line:  If you ignore your pain, it can take a toll on your mental wellness.

Ignoring pain can lead to relationship issues

Sexual intercourse is an important part of your sexual health and your relationship with your partner. If intercourse hurts, it can impact this aspect of your relationship. Some partners may receive the message personally and feel they’ve let you down if intercourse hurts. 

If you need to tell your partner that intercourse hurts, do so gently. Ideally, have the conversation before you’re in the heat of the moment, if possible. If you do need to stop, let them know why to avoid any potential miscommunications or hurt feelings. 

Speak up about pain during intercourse

Your first step is to determine the source of  your pain. This can be done through a physical exam, a review of your symptoms and health history, and an analysis of any recommended lab work (such as urinalysis) or ultrasounds. 

Pain during intercourse can be helped with:

Lifestyle modifications

Improving communication with your partner, reducing stress, practicing relaxation techniques, and using adequate lubrication can help alleviate discomfort during sex. Using lubrication is particularly important for women struggling with vaginal dryness during menopause.

Medical treatments

Depending on your specific diagnosis, your Bellingham Urology Group provider may recommend the medical treatments 一 such as medications, hormonal therapy, physical therapy, or surgical procedures 一 that you need to address your underlying condition and reduce pain during intercourse.

Counseling

If psychological factors contribute to pain during intercourse, counseling or therapy sessions with a qualified professional can help address underlying issues and improve sexual health and mental wellness.

If you have concerns about your sexual health, book your next appointment today either by phone or through our online scheduling tool.